My driving test

It was 4 months after I came in to kansas I finally bought Corolla.
In kansas, you need to first give a written test and then a driving test to get your licence. Once you clear your written test you get an IP(like a learners licence) and when you clear your driving test you get your licence.

It was the period when i cleared my written test and was practising to give my driving test. When I have an IP, I have to drive only if a person with a licence sits beside me. So for a few weeks i practised like this and thought I would give my test.

My friends over here have told me that, getting a licence depends on the inspector who tests you(atleast also depends). If it is the old man, then you probably need to come for a retest. If it is the lady, you are most likely to get it.

There has been many versions of the story floating in air to support the theory above. One such theory is women usually aren't good drivers, and so even if you drive it 'not very bad' the lady inspector may think we drive good.

I do not know if the theory is correct or not. But I wished, it should be the lady inspector, so that my chances for coming for a retest is reduced.
My bad luck, it was the old man. When I was waiting for him in the hall, he came across to me and said 'I am not going to try calling by your name but I know i need to test you'. He seemed humorous. I wished the theories are wrong and got up to give the best of my driving skills.

He asked me to get into the car, start the engine and roll down my window. I never thought the driving test was going to be so easy. I did so without a mistake. Then I realized it is not over. He went to the rear of my car and asked me to turn on my left indicator. Yes I did. Then the right..perfect.
He came to the front...left indicator..done...then right indicator ...done so easy again..

Then finally he said "Honk"...
My god... where is it.. I don't see any button or a metallic ring in my steering wheel that I used to see in India(doesn't the ambassador have a metallic ring and the maruti 800 a press button-- i find neither here). I cursed the Toyota manufacturers ---where the hell did they put this honk button or ring-- I searched all over my steering wheel--then the dashboard --then the rest of the car.
Then the inspector slowly came to me and said 'You need to press the center of the steering wheel to honk' . I still don't see a button there but I sincerely obeyed him and pressed the center. To my astonishment the entire middle part of the steering wheel went in and produced a honk.
I sheepishly smiled at the inspector and said 'I am sorry, i haven't used this car' as if it was a fault with the car. He came and sat in the co-driver seat. I thought what a bad start. However he didn't seem to mind.

He then said that he wants me to drive as per the law. The next 30 minute drive was anything other than permitted by law.
But he did not speak much while driving. He only told me when I need to take a turn.
If you want to know what else he said while i was driving...here are a few
1. 'No I said turn left at the signal..not here'
2. 'You just passed over a stop signal'
3. 'A wide right turn'

But honestly I parked the car very well. Then he started listing down all the mistakes I had made during the drive. It was a long list and I was reminded of a scene in 'Liar Liar' where a cop would ask Jim Carrey to pull over and say
'Do you know why I am stopping you for?'
'It depends on how long you have been following me!'
Then Jim carrey admits all the mistakes he does and the list seems really long.

It was such a long list and he said 'Do you know how many times I was tempted to pull the hand brake'
I was tempted to say ' I really appreciate your patience' but did not want to anger him any more. Probably he might come for me the next time also. So sincerely nodded for whatever he said and I said I would work on these.